To all of the baby boomers out there and the rest of you coming down the road, here’s my new blog. I’ve reached that pivotal point in my life where the first half is gone and the second half is staring me hard in the face. And I’m asking myself what did I accomplish in the first half and what do I hope to accomplish in the second half. At first glance it might appear that I have yet to reach any real level of success. But I guess before I can whole-heartedly accept that as my reality, I should first define success.
If asked 20 years ago to describe what it means to be successful I would have answered:
- Lots of money in the bank
- Having a lucrative and exciting career
- Being able to retire by 50
- Owning a beautiful home
- Paying for the kids college
- A couple of vacations a year
Based on that definition, I would have to say the success has for the most part, eluded me. I have yet to get lots of money in the bank, I just recently quit my career of 14 years (in search of something new and exciting), so there’s no way I’ll be retiring by the age of 50 without some major miracle, I DO have the beautiful home (wahoo), the first child opted out of college and the second one has borrowed her own money this first year, and I have been on several vacations…over the last 10 years. So what’s that, 2 out of 6? Ok, before I consider myself a failure, I might have to revisit my earlier view of success.
A very wise and dear friend of mine (72 years old now) once told me that success is measured not by the things that we acquire but by the experiences we have. Based on that definition, I would have to conclude that my life thus far has been very rich indeed! These I declare as my successes to date:
- My list of volunteer activities far exceeds the number of jobs I’ve had. And I have to say that I have found tremendous joy in volunteering.
- I have contributed 14 professional years to helping children with speech disorders communicate better. I have helped to change lives.
- I graduated summa cum laude and received 3 academic excellence awards while working full-time, raising a child by myself and going through a very long divorce. (Now that’s SUCCESS!)
- I raised a child to be financial independent at the young age of 18.
- I know who I am and I love who I am!
- I wake up each morning excited because I have learned that I can define and create my own success each and every day!
So how do I define success today? I would say that success is a matter of perception and attitude. Success isn’t measured by the things you own, or the vacations you take, or the size of your bank account. Success is measured by the events that make your blood flow and your heart sing. Join me as I blog my way through the second half of my life and share in the joy of my successes.
Be well!
You are absolutely correct in saying that it is the experiences that we have along the way that make the difference. At the end of the day, after all of the rewards that we say will bring us happiness, it is the things that we cannot put a pricetag on that makes life wonderful.
Even after beating cancer 22 years ago at the age 26, it was still hard fighting the temptation of defining yourself by what I did for a living.
Even though the last 4 years has been a challenge for both my wife and myself, we both feel that we are in a better place. When decisions need to be made, we do the right thing instead of what is expected.
On Mother’s Day, our daughter graduated from college. There is no amount of money or things that could beat that feeling of pride and accomplishment.
Love your thoughts,
Mark Parbus
http://thoughts.babyboomerjourney.com/
By: Mark Parbus on May 16, 2008
at 1:13 am
I thoroughly enjoyed these blog entries. Success to me is more a feeling of contentment than a monetary gain or level. Success is knowing that you did the most and best you could in any given situation. Success is getting genuine pleasure from making someone happy. Success, like you both say before me, is all the things you cannot put a price tag on. I do offer that we should not trivialize money – it won’t buy you happiness but I personally cannot deny that it helps. I was born into poverty and continue to spend some part of my life making sure I don’t fall back into it. But more than money and what it can buy me are the friends and family in my life. It’s the experiences I’m fortunate enough to live through: music outside, birds singing, being able to touch my toes, laughing with my amazing grand-daughter, talking on the phone with sisters, nieces, girlfriends. I do have to admit that I don’t wake up every day knowing and loving who I am. I have issues in that category. But at 50 years old, and recently laid off so currently unemployed for the first time in my life, I continue to say thank you each morning and each evening. I am successful because I am aware and empathetic and humble. I’m successful because my heart beats and my belly isn’t hungry. Mark, congratulations on being cancer free for all these years. Bless you and your family. My sweet niece, we’d be a force to be reckoned with if we went on the road together as motivational speakers! Between both our stories, we’d give hope to anyone who felt they had insurmountable obstacles in their way. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading and contributing. I think this blog can definitely help people who find and read it. As my daughter says, Love and Light to you both and all who read this.
By: Joanne on May 16, 2008
at 4:50 pm
Thank you both for your comments. I appreciate your contributions! My hope in writing these blogs is to be able to inspire and encourage others. And also to help people recognize that success can be experienced every day in ordinary occurrences, just as you both suggested.
By: successforrealpeople on May 17, 2008
at 9:02 am
I want to share with you a great day I had. I took my horse out on about 300 acres today and was completely immersed in the beauty of the day. It was like one of those photographs in a travel magazine.
The field was covered in grass as green could be. The air was filled with honeysuckle and there were fields of wildflowers blooming.
The funny thing was that I felt like my horse was enjoying it as much as I was. He walked, grazed and broke into a jog. Like him, I was fully in the moment and things could not have been better.
The lesson that I learned today was that if I had been planning next week or thinking what I had to do in prep for a meeting next week, I would have been blind to this day that was filled with glory.
Keep In The Present,
Mark
Mark Parbus
Visit my blog at:
http://thoughts.babyboomerjourney.com/
By: Mark Parbus on May 18, 2008
at 8:20 pm